I am a Dad.

I am having a moment here and there are a few things I need to get off my chest.  It is disheartening to see a man who wants to be a father to his children and the child’s mom gets in the middle of the mix.  At the end of the day, at the end of the cycle, at the end of the misunderstandings – there is the child.

A girl’s understanding of her relationship with a man is based on her relationship with her father.

I am here.

I want to be a part of her life.

But you…

You won’t allow it.

I know there is hurt and anger and I broke either your heart or your trust, but our child, doesn’t have to suffer for our mistakes.  I won’t say that you and I are a mistake because we created something beautiful– our daughter.  How we are handling not being together is a mistake.

I will always have love for you, but just as you have moved on with your life, I too have moved on with mine. Yes it is unfair that I have a new family, but I have lots of old love for my daughter.  I want her in my life and I want to be a part of hers.

If you allow it.

This isn’t about a monthly check.  This is about you. My new wife will not mistreat our child.  You know why?  I will not allow it. I am a man. A good man.  A strong man.  A man of character.

Yet, I have to fight with you to see my daughter. You are filling her head with reasons why I can’t be a part of her life.  You have my baby believing I don’t love her enough.  Or worse, I don’t love her anymore. Who I don’t love anymore is you. 

I am loving you less and less, each year, each month, each week, each day, each hour, each minute, each second you deny me the ability to kiss my baby good night.  I am loving you far less when I am allowed to see her and she is angry with me.  Not of my own doing, but of your manipulations.

Why?

Because you can’t have your way.

Might I suggest you grow up so our daughter can grow up with me in her life?

This in no means says that I am not without my flaws and bad judgment calls from time to time, but a lesser man would have walked away a long time ago. Just to keep from dealing with you.  My daughter deserves better. She deserves a strong man in her life to guide her long the path of womanhood.  I’m not saying I am a prime example, but I am going to give her examples of how a man should treat her.  As she grows up, this standard she will hold dear. This standard will be her benchmark that she will look for in a mate and a future husband.

You and I were young and a bit foolish when we made our angel.

I am asking you to take the time, think about my words, and let the foolishness end. Her best days are yet to come, and I want to be there.